Letters From the Gotei 13
by Evil Demon Warrior Bunny
Summary: The Captains and Vice Captains pass notes at meetings. Mysteriously, all of their conversations are exactly 100 words long. Humorous letter-drabbles from the author of Bleach Soup.
1. Love, Shunsui

**So…I thought that Captain-Lieutenant meetings must get VERY boring for those involved. So what better to do than pass notes? The first of many. Set before Aizen's defection. These will all be humorous.**

**Title: Love, Shunsui**

**Pairing/Characters: ShunNan, Ukitake, Yamamoto

* * *

**

Dear Nanao-chan,

I miss you! Why won't you talk to me?

Love,

Shunsui

* * *

Dear Taichou,

We're in the middle of a meeting. Pay attention.

Ise-fukutaichou

* * *

Dear Nanao-chan,

You're so cruel!

Love,

Shunsui

* * *

Dear Taichou,

Stop talking to me.

Ise-fukutaichou

* * *

Dear Jyuu-chan,

Nanao-chan is ignoring me!

Love,

Shunsui

* * *

Dear Shunsui,

I'm terribly sorry for you. Pay attention; Yamamoto is talking.

Jyuushiro

* * *

Dear Yama-jii,

What are you talking about?

Love,

Shunsui

PS. Nanao-chan and Jyuu-chan are ignoring me!

* * *

Dear Shunsui,

Pay attention!

Yamamoto-soutaichou

PS. I don't care.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I hate this meeting. Everyone is ignoring me.

Love,

Shunsui

PS. I'm hungry.

* * *

**I wanted to try something a little different…Tell me if you want me to continue this. With any characters. (I sincerely hope you do, 'cause I've already got about seven written.)**


	2. Respectfully, Iba

**To my reviewers: I adore you all. You completely make my day. Anyway, this builds a bit from the last one but then goes off in its own direction. Enjoy!**

**Title: Respectfully, Iba**

**Pairings/Characters: ShunNan, HisagiRangiku, Iba**

**To fully get this, you must imagine all the Captains and Lieutenants basically sitting in a circle. For example, Byakuya-Renji-Komamura-Iba-Shunsui-etc-etc.

* * *

**

Dear Nanao-chan,

Hello! How's life? What are you doing?

Love,

Shunsui

PS. You look lovely today.

* * *

Dear Kyoraku-taichou,

Why did you just give me a note for Ise-fukutaichou?

Respectfully,

Iba-fukutaichou

* * *

Dear Tetsu-chan,

Oops! Ha ha! Wrong direction!

Love,

Shunsui

* * *

Dear Hisagi,

Kyoraku is weird.

Iba

* * *

Dear Iba,

No kidding.

Hisagi

PS. Have you seen Rangiku today?

* * *

Dear Hisagi,

She's sitting two seats away from you.

Iba

* * *

Dear Iba,

Yeah, I meant, have you SEEN her?

Hisagi

* * *

Dear Hisagi,

Parts of her, certainly.

Iba

* * *

Dear Iba,

I _know_…

Hisagi

* * *

Dear Hisagi,

Close your mouth. You're drooling all over Hitsugaya-taichou's hair.

Iba

* * *

**For next time: Gin, Matsumoto, and Hitsugaya or Hitsugaya, Momo and Rangiku? Or something else entirely. Tell me in a review!**


	3. Yours, Momo

**Hmm…opinion was pretty much divided on this one, so I decided to go with the one with Momo in it. Gin will be up soon, I promise you. :D**

**And a shout-out to ****AnimeLuver4everandevr**** for being psychic and writing something very similar to this in a review. (Go ahead, check it out. It's spooky.) But I didn't steal her/his idea, I swear! This was completely written long before that. Kudos. Enjoy!**

**Title: Yours, Momo**

**Pairing/Characters: HitsuHina, Matsumoto

* * *

**

Dear Shiro-chan,

Hi! How's it going?

Yours,

Momo

* * *

Dear Hinamori,

There is no Shiro-chan. There will never again BE a Shiro-chan. Shiro-chan is dead.

Hitsugaya-taichou

* * *

Dear Hitsugaya-kun,

Is that better?

Yours,

Momo

* * *

Dear Hinamori,

…It'll do.

Hitsugaya-taichou

* * *

Dear Hitsugaya-kun,

Hooray!

Yours,

Momo

* * *

Dear Taichou and Hinamori-chan,

Ooh! Are we writing notes? Can I join in?

Rangiku

* * *

Dear Matsumoto,

No.

Hitsugaya-taichou

* * *

Dear Ran-chan

Oh course you can!

Yours,

Momo

* * *

Dear Taichou,

Your girlfriend is nicer than you.

Rangiku

* * *

Dear Matsumoto,

What? No, we—what? Matsumoto!

Hitsugaya-taichou

* * *

Dear Hitsugaya-kun,

Why is your face all purple?

Yours,

Momo

* * *

Dear Hinamori,

…Never mind.

Hitsugaya-taichou

* * *

**I love writing Matsumoto. Next time will either have Gin or Zaraki. Mmm?**


	4. Always, Rangiku

**Gin won out (just barely), so here he is. Enjoy!**

**Title: Always, Rangiku**

**Pairing/Characters: GinRan, Hitsugaya

* * *

**

Dear Ran-chan,

How's it going? I never get to see you anymore.

Gin

* * *

Dear Gin,

Taichou's been working me to death. I miss you.

Always,

Rangiku

* * *

Dear Matsumoto,

Don't even try it. All you do is sit on the couch and drink sake.

Hitsugaya-taichou

* * *

Dear Taichou,

Don't you know it's rude to read over somebody's shoulder?

Rangiku

* * *

Dear Ran-chan,

Then come work for me! Shiro-chan and I can trade Lieutenants.

Gin

* * *

Dear Gin,

I think Taichou would die with Kira as his second. He needs my bubbly personality to keep him sane.

Always,

Rangiku

* * *

Dear Matsumoto and Ichimaru,

No!

Hitsugaya-taichou

* * *

**I think I delight in torturing Hitsugaya. For next time, Zaraki or Byakuya?**


	5. Signed, Kuchiki

**Again, opinion divided… :D So here's Byakuya. Unfortunately, my children, this is not a Byakuya-gets-tortured fic. It is, however, a Byakuya-tortures-Renji fic. Close enough? Enjoy.**

**Title: Signed, Kuchiki**

**Pairings/Characters: RenRuki (I don't even like this pairing. Why am I writing it? I don't know), Byakuya

* * *

**

Dear Renji,

It has come to my attention that you desire to make advances upon my sister. Desist at once.

Signed,

Kuchiki-taichou

* * *

Dear Kuchiki-taichou,

Um…I'm sorry?

Renji

* * *

Dear Renji,

Your apology is accepted.

Signed,

Kuchiki-taichou

* * *

Dear Kuchiki-taichou

Oh good.

Renji

* * *

Dear Renji,

And if you do not immediately cease all communication with Rukia, I shall be forced to take…_steps_.

Signed,

Kuchiki-taichou

* * *

Dear Kuchiki-taichou,

But…but she's my best friend! I can't just STOP talking to her!

Renji

PS. What kind of…_steps_?

* * *

Dear Renji,

_Drastic_ steps. Need I be more specific, _fukutaichou_?

Signed,

Kuchiki-taichou

* * *

Dear Kuchiki-taichou,

…Desisting as we speak, sir.

Renji

* * *

**Oh, you poor Renji you. Next time: Zaraki or Gin-and-Aizen?**

**Also, a large number of people requested Zaraki-and-Byakuya, so one is in the works.**

**A special note to smart. deedee...you are awesome. :D And good idea, I'll definitely use that one.**

**Finally, I'm running out of salutations! Here are the ones I already have: signed, yours, ttyl, sincerely, respectfully, love, dejectedly, cordially, contritely, warmly, and always. Suggestions?  
**


	6. TTYL, Gin

**Hey, all! Sorry for the late update, but you know how life is...(I'm just going to leave that hanging and hope you _do_ know how life is, because I have no idea.) Anyway, **

**Title: TTYL, Gin**

**Characters/Pairings: Gin, Aizen, can be seen as Gin/Aizen if you want, I guess  


* * *

**

Dear Aizen,

How's the plot for world domination coming along?

TTYL,

Gin

* * *

Dear Gin,

Fine. I'm thinking about slicking back my hair when I reveal my evilness to everyone. What do you think?

Aizen

PS. What does TTYL mean?

* * *

Dear Aizen,

I think you should crush your glasses into powder using only your bare hands. That would make an impression.

TTYL,

Gin

PS. TTYL means Talk To You Later

* * *

Dear Gin,

It's inspired! But I'll have to really work at sword practice to toughen up my hands so crushing them doesn't hurt.

Aizen

* * *

Dear Aizen,

Pain is glory.

TTYL,

Gin

* * *

**I can so totally picture Aizen having no clue what various modern expressions mean. And this just points out a few of the nit-picks I have with Aizen's 'ascent.' Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Next time: Zaraki or Hisagi, Komamura, and Tousen?  
**


	7. Sincerly, Sajin

**Hello, loyal-yet-rabid masses. May you be appeased by my humble offering of a drabble. May you be so appeased that you REVIEW said drabble. ;P**

**Title: Sincerely, Sajin**

**Characters: Komamura, Tousen, Hisagi

* * *

**

Dear Kaname,

How are you today?

Sincerely,

Sajin

* * *

Dear Komamura-taichou,

Tousen-taichou regrets to inform you that he is, and always has been, blind, and therefore has no way of reading your note.

Hisagi

* * *

Dear Hisagi,

I do apologize! I forgot. Please convey my deepest apologizes to Kaname.

Sincerely,

Sajin

* * *

Dear Komamura-taichou,

He says it's fine.

Hisagi

* * *

Dear Hisagi and Tousen,

Oh good.

Sincerely,

Sajin

* * *

Dear Komamura-taichou,

He responded with a stoic nod.

Hisagi

* * *

Dear Hisagi,

Very like him.

Sincerely,

Sajin

* * *

Dear Komamura-taichou,

Yes.

Hisagi

* * *

Dear Hisagi,

Good.

Sincerely,

Sajin

* * *

Dear Komamura-taichou,

…You two really don't talk much, do you?

Hisagi

* * *

**I'm putting up this one because...well, honestly because I love it. Hisagi makes me happy. And, seriously, what DO they talk about?**


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